Korean Patricia

My personal diary

US or Korea? Answer me, Ashiv.

Written by

Patricia Kim

Me getting on a flight tomorrow is going to change my life entirely.
To be honest, I had all my pride coming from my job, not my look or any other factors.
Not having my own career will make me feel like such a useless person, and I already feel it.

You mentioned that my parents never taught me how to be a wife. Maybe you are right. I don’t know how to be a housewife with no job outside of the home. None of my family members are housewives. They all have their jobs or businesses of their own.

It is already scary that I will have to be home doing nothing but cooking. I will have to depend on you 100%, and I will be the weak one for a long time.

You will just continue your routine, and you will not go through any changes except that you have me there.

Sorry to bring this up, but you keep everything you have, and I lose everything. If you think I have nothing to lose because I already have no money, it is really different from what I think.

This is such a hard decision and a hard thing to do. I really hope you get this.

I am in so much anxiety and sadness the whole week. It is making me sick too.

You know that the salary offer from KOVA is still valid, and they are still telling me to restart the regular hours. It is 80K. I give it up.

My family, no matter how much you hate them, is not only here, but they also do not know I am leaving. It is such a bad thing to do as a family. The worst thing to do is this. I will never get out of this guilt.

My friends and acquaintances— I have people to kill time for coffee and for some activities I like to do. And there will be no one but you. I will be isolated completely from the world. I won’t be a social human being anymore. You forbid social media, social activities, or meeting new people. So that will be the life I have.

Can you share your opinion about my situation besides “Don’t worry”?

2 responses

  1. Patricia Kim Avatar
    Patricia Kim

    I sent this message. He called me and said “Why do you say this right before the flight?”,”You are not going to come and I know it.”,”I am tired of you”.

    The only thing I needed was “Yes I know you have to go through a lot for this. I won’t make you regret choosing a life together with me.”

    I was so ready to fly and do the big gamble. Such a shame.

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  2. Patricia Kim Avatar
    Patricia Kim

    You fucking bitch. You stupid bitch. blah blah blah.

    Each time before you go to the airport, every single time you have sent me a similar message like the one above. Then it is followed by a long message, explaining why you are not taking the flight anymore. I’m tired of being abandoned, let down and left alone.I won’t do it anymore. This is all too familiar. I know what’s coming next.

    It is an interesting that you say “Being abandoned”. You say I abandon you and you never think I am abandoned. It is not fair for me to hear this.

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